Advertisements, to-do lists, future in-laws, they all demand attention – and the resulting stress can overpower what’s supposed to be a joyous time in your life. You’re a bride-to-be, certainly a revered title. Some might even say the envy of all hopeful marrieds....
But you’re bombarded with a growing pile of mundane details demanding your attention, and the stress that results can threaten to overpower. Instead, emerge from the pile of fabric swatches, font styles and contracts and ..…just….breathe. During your engagement, step away from wedding planning, and take time to enjoy yourself as a fabulous single woman. Sure, kicking your heals up and relaxing as your task list expands exponentially may sound impossible. In reality, allowing yourself some time to rejuvenate will not only reduce wedding stress, it will ultimately make your wedding planning more efficient. Have you ever tried going for a morning run without a good night’s sleep the night before? The same applies to wedding planning.
Here are some easy methods to reduce wedding stress:
Reclaim your life and your self
What activities comprised your free time before wedding planning seized your soul? Reading? Jogging? Shopping? Crafts? Don’t let those activities slip; take that time to yourself and enjoy the relaxation that comes with doing something that you enjoy. Even if just for a few hours a week – it will make a world of difference
Reconnect with friends and loved ones
Has it been weeks or months since you spoke with your best friend or sister (NOT about the wedding)? Losing contact is easy when you’re busy or believe loved ones are out of touch with your life. Take some time to reconnect with your closest friends; ask them about their lives. Keep them up-to-date on your wedding planning – but also discuss other aspects of your life. You are a multi-faceted person, after all.
Cater to someone else for a change
Yes, this is one of the few times in your life when the attention is solely focused on you and your life decisions, and you should enjoy your time in the spotlight. That said, don’t get caught up in the selfishness of being a bride. Do something unexpected for someone else. Take a break from wedding planning and cook a friend dinner, serve a meal at your local soup kitchen, babysit for a couple who could use a break…You will be surprised how good (and relaxed) you will feel by making others feel appreciated, and you will immediately reduce stress.
Spend quality time with your fiance
It’s sadly ironic that in the planning of a new life together, couples often struggle to find quality time with one another in the present. The best way to begin a marriage on the right foot is to avoid neglecting your relationship now. Building a life as one should always be your top priority, (remember – it IS the reason behind the big party!) so enjoy romantic evenings together and try not to talk about the wedding. Focus on your relationship and your future beyond the wedding day.
Above all else, don’t lose sight of what’s important and don’t lose sight of yourself. Keeping this in mind will reduce wedding stress. Savor every moment of your engagement, and arrive at your wedding positively radiant.
Showing posts with label Wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wedding. Show all posts
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Getting Married: The Internal Battle
The flowers, the dress, the caterer, the guest list - our focus during engagement revolves around the details in planning the perfect wedding. Yet if we can manage to tear ourselves away from the 5th revision of the seating chart for just a moment, we realize that engagement is one of the most significant psychological transitions in our lives, packed with an assortment of tangled emotions and conflicting feelings.
Inside the newly engaged woman often lie fear, anxiety, sadness and loss. It is these important internal details, so largely ignored by conventional wedding guides and planners, that an engaged woman must face and confront if she ever hopes to arrive at the altar fully prepared to enter into a healthy marriage.
Feelings of loss?
There is no other time in your life when you are truly giving up one identity for another. The transition is more complex than simply taking a new last name, a literal change of identity and a decision that brings with it its own set of questions and anxieties. You are also giving up your symbolic identity as a single woman, even a child. Women often worry, “I’m losing my youth,” or, “I won’t be able to relate to my single girlfriends.” A stage in your life, the only stage you have ever experienced, is ending, and many women experience feelings of loss as a chapter closes on their lives.
What if…
As one chapter closes, another begins. A chapter of commitment and togetherness. This new stage brings forth feelings of joy and excitement, but fear and uncertainty are also involved. You are entering into a partnership with another human being, causing your future’s happiness to rely so heavily on the actions of another. Needless to say, this realization can expose feelings of fear. What if our marriage doesn’t last? What if he cheats on me? What if I cheat on him? What if the passion fades and we grow apart? What if something terrible happens to him? These questions can penetrate the veneer of even the most outwardly joyous bride.
Am I making a mistake?
Popular culture and society seems to conveniently ignore these questions and uncertainties. As engaged women, we hear a barrage of “congratulations!” and “what will your dress look like?” when we announce the big news. Even those closest to us neglect to recognize the importance of more internally probing questions and advice during our engagement. As a result, many women begin to question their readiness for marriage. Any feeling less than euphoric is deemed as indication of making a mistake, as we have been conditioned to believe that anxiety and confusion are a reflection of “not being ready” or choosing the wrong partner. Thus, instead of accepting and discussing these feelings, we distract ourselves with the wedding planning and ignore our internal emotions.
Harness and Accept your feelings!
In reality, these thoughts could not be more normal. In every other major life transition, simultaneous feelings of loss and gain are not only expected, but encouraged. When you graduated high school, when you graduated college, when you moved away from your hometown, when you left your first job for a better opportunity, those around you understood and sympathized with your conflicting emotions. But did those feelings of sadness and loss hinder you from taking that next step and succeeding with flying colors? Of course not. You allowed yourself to address and analyze your thoughts, and then you proceeded with the change. This is exactly what you need to do during your engagement as you prepare for your journey to the altar and marriage. Realize that feelings of sadness and anxiety are normal, allow yourself to feel these feelings, and discuss and analyze them with those around you. Don’t allow your friends and family to focus on the wedding planning process to the exclusion of your internal struggles.
The engagement stage involves more than simply planning a big party. It involves introspection and emotional analysis. It involves open communication with your fiance, family and friends. It involves acceptance of fear and sadness. Once a bride realizes the complexity of this transition, she can address her emotions and move forward in planning for both a fabulous party and a successful next chapter in her life.
Inside the newly engaged woman often lie fear, anxiety, sadness and loss. It is these important internal details, so largely ignored by conventional wedding guides and planners, that an engaged woman must face and confront if she ever hopes to arrive at the altar fully prepared to enter into a healthy marriage.
Feelings of loss?
There is no other time in your life when you are truly giving up one identity for another. The transition is more complex than simply taking a new last name, a literal change of identity and a decision that brings with it its own set of questions and anxieties. You are also giving up your symbolic identity as a single woman, even a child. Women often worry, “I’m losing my youth,” or, “I won’t be able to relate to my single girlfriends.” A stage in your life, the only stage you have ever experienced, is ending, and many women experience feelings of loss as a chapter closes on their lives.
What if…
As one chapter closes, another begins. A chapter of commitment and togetherness. This new stage brings forth feelings of joy and excitement, but fear and uncertainty are also involved. You are entering into a partnership with another human being, causing your future’s happiness to rely so heavily on the actions of another. Needless to say, this realization can expose feelings of fear. What if our marriage doesn’t last? What if he cheats on me? What if I cheat on him? What if the passion fades and we grow apart? What if something terrible happens to him? These questions can penetrate the veneer of even the most outwardly joyous bride.
Am I making a mistake?
Popular culture and society seems to conveniently ignore these questions and uncertainties. As engaged women, we hear a barrage of “congratulations!” and “what will your dress look like?” when we announce the big news. Even those closest to us neglect to recognize the importance of more internally probing questions and advice during our engagement. As a result, many women begin to question their readiness for marriage. Any feeling less than euphoric is deemed as indication of making a mistake, as we have been conditioned to believe that anxiety and confusion are a reflection of “not being ready” or choosing the wrong partner. Thus, instead of accepting and discussing these feelings, we distract ourselves with the wedding planning and ignore our internal emotions.
Harness and Accept your feelings!
In reality, these thoughts could not be more normal. In every other major life transition, simultaneous feelings of loss and gain are not only expected, but encouraged. When you graduated high school, when you graduated college, when you moved away from your hometown, when you left your first job for a better opportunity, those around you understood and sympathized with your conflicting emotions. But did those feelings of sadness and loss hinder you from taking that next step and succeeding with flying colors? Of course not. You allowed yourself to address and analyze your thoughts, and then you proceeded with the change. This is exactly what you need to do during your engagement as you prepare for your journey to the altar and marriage. Realize that feelings of sadness and anxiety are normal, allow yourself to feel these feelings, and discuss and analyze them with those around you. Don’t allow your friends and family to focus on the wedding planning process to the exclusion of your internal struggles.
The engagement stage involves more than simply planning a big party. It involves introspection and emotional analysis. It involves open communication with your fiance, family and friends. It involves acceptance of fear and sadness. Once a bride realizes the complexity of this transition, she can address her emotions and move forward in planning for both a fabulous party and a successful next chapter in her life.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
"I Have To Do WHAT?" Weddings Don't Have to be Boring.
Okay, for those of you who have spent your lives dreaming of caterers in tuxedos, formal black and white dinners and all the elegance of a full cinderella wedding - this post may not be for you! This post is for all the brides out there who hate the idea of a formal, same as all the others, wedding. Who said a wedding had to be that way?
Many brides today are under the impression that things like the meal, the dress, the size of the wedding, the cake, etc are all set in stone based on what is ‘exceptable”. The truth is, more and more brides are thumbing their noses at the “traditional” wedding frills, and doing things in a new, unique way!
Here are some examples of brides doing things their own way:
1. Not so formal reception - A couple getting married were the kind who loved to camp, loved the outdoors, and spent all their free time playing sports. The idea of a staunch, formal dinner and dance was not their idea of “celebrating”. So, they opted for a beautiful outdoor wedding followed by a catered bar-b-que and a baseball tournament! (Yes, the bride played in her dress, lol - and it wasn’t a small dress)
2. At a wedding earlier this year, the bride disliked flowers very much. So, instead of flowers, she used candles as her decor and candle lanterns as the “bouquets” for the wedding party! The only flowers were in the bride’s own bouquet!
3. Another couple I read about had a traditional dinner because their parents requested it, but decided against a dance. Instead, after the dinner, they rented out a bowling alley for a bowling tournament - tuxes and all!
Here are a few things that most bride’s think must be included:
- A Reception: Most bride’s believe that they are required to put on a reception. This is not true. Traditionally, the reception was a party the family put on in the couples honor to celebrate the marriage and was not the couples responsibility. Today, many many couples choose to put on their own, which is perfectly acceptable. But there are some couples who find the idea of a reception, as traditionally done, to be very boring and out of character. If you are one of those people, don’t worry! Spend some time think about what sort of celebration would be most meaningful to you, and then incorporate that into your wedding day!
- A Wedding Cake: No, you don’t HAVE to have a wedding cake unless you want one!
- The Wedding Party: For legal purposes, you have to have 2 witnesses (generally the best man and maid of honor) and an officiate or justice of the peace. All other members of the wedding party are optional and should only be filled if you personally want them to be. Don’t have any children in your life - don’t stress about finding some connected child just to have a flower girl or ring bearer! And by the way the wedding party can be anyone you wish, including friends, sisters, mothers, aunts, even your grandma, if that’s what you want!
- Alcohol: There is NO rules saying you have to serve alcohol at your wedding. There are many people who for personal or religious reasons, do not drink. If you are one of those people, don’t feel pressured to have alcohol involved!
- Flowers and Decorations: There is not a single decoration item that is a MUST. If you don’t like flowers, don’t use flowers. If you don’t like candles, don’t have candles! If you hate ivy and tulle, leave it out! There is nothing wrong with using your own creative mind to come up with unique and original decorating ideas.
- Guest Book: Many brides have already decided that the traditional guest book is not for them, and that is perfectly fine! There is no reason why you have to have any type of guest book at all - but if you want to have a record of the guests and their wishes - there are many other ways it can be done as well.
- The Wedding Dress: It doesn’t have to be white, it doesn’t have to be poofy, it doesn’t even HAVE to be a dress!!! If you are having an informal wedding and hate dresses, wear a suit. It’s your wedding after all, you should be comfortable! Of course, if you love the poof DO IT, cause you only get to wear a dress like that a few times in your life. Friends of my family are avid motorbikers, for their wedding he wore a black leather jacket and black leather chaps over his best jeans and she wore all white leathers: vest, pants, jacket.
There are more, but those are the areas that came to mind. In the end, there is only very few things that are a MUST for a wedding:
- a bride and a groom
- an officiate or justice of the peace
- 2 witnesses
- a marriage certificate, a pen and the required wedding vows
Everything else is there to help celebrate the vows and the signing of that paper - so what better way to do that then with activities that have meaning to you rather then activities you dread?
Found at Dream Budget Weddings
Many brides today are under the impression that things like the meal, the dress, the size of the wedding, the cake, etc are all set in stone based on what is ‘exceptable”. The truth is, more and more brides are thumbing their noses at the “traditional” wedding frills, and doing things in a new, unique way!
Here are some examples of brides doing things their own way:
1. Not so formal reception - A couple getting married were the kind who loved to camp, loved the outdoors, and spent all their free time playing sports. The idea of a staunch, formal dinner and dance was not their idea of “celebrating”. So, they opted for a beautiful outdoor wedding followed by a catered bar-b-que and a baseball tournament! (Yes, the bride played in her dress, lol - and it wasn’t a small dress)
2. At a wedding earlier this year, the bride disliked flowers very much. So, instead of flowers, she used candles as her decor and candle lanterns as the “bouquets” for the wedding party! The only flowers were in the bride’s own bouquet!
3. Another couple I read about had a traditional dinner because their parents requested it, but decided against a dance. Instead, after the dinner, they rented out a bowling alley for a bowling tournament - tuxes and all!
Here are a few things that most bride’s think must be included:
- A Reception: Most bride’s believe that they are required to put on a reception. This is not true. Traditionally, the reception was a party the family put on in the couples honor to celebrate the marriage and was not the couples responsibility. Today, many many couples choose to put on their own, which is perfectly acceptable. But there are some couples who find the idea of a reception, as traditionally done, to be very boring and out of character. If you are one of those people, don’t worry! Spend some time think about what sort of celebration would be most meaningful to you, and then incorporate that into your wedding day!
- A Wedding Cake: No, you don’t HAVE to have a wedding cake unless you want one!
- The Wedding Party: For legal purposes, you have to have 2 witnesses (generally the best man and maid of honor) and an officiate or justice of the peace. All other members of the wedding party are optional and should only be filled if you personally want them to be. Don’t have any children in your life - don’t stress about finding some connected child just to have a flower girl or ring bearer! And by the way the wedding party can be anyone you wish, including friends, sisters, mothers, aunts, even your grandma, if that’s what you want!
- Alcohol: There is NO rules saying you have to serve alcohol at your wedding. There are many people who for personal or religious reasons, do not drink. If you are one of those people, don’t feel pressured to have alcohol involved!
- Flowers and Decorations: There is not a single decoration item that is a MUST. If you don’t like flowers, don’t use flowers. If you don’t like candles, don’t have candles! If you hate ivy and tulle, leave it out! There is nothing wrong with using your own creative mind to come up with unique and original decorating ideas.
- Guest Book: Many brides have already decided that the traditional guest book is not for them, and that is perfectly fine! There is no reason why you have to have any type of guest book at all - but if you want to have a record of the guests and their wishes - there are many other ways it can be done as well.
- The Wedding Dress: It doesn’t have to be white, it doesn’t have to be poofy, it doesn’t even HAVE to be a dress!!! If you are having an informal wedding and hate dresses, wear a suit. It’s your wedding after all, you should be comfortable! Of course, if you love the poof DO IT, cause you only get to wear a dress like that a few times in your life. Friends of my family are avid motorbikers, for their wedding he wore a black leather jacket and black leather chaps over his best jeans and she wore all white leathers: vest, pants, jacket.
There are more, but those are the areas that came to mind. In the end, there is only very few things that are a MUST for a wedding:
- a bride and a groom
- an officiate or justice of the peace
- 2 witnesses
- a marriage certificate, a pen and the required wedding vows
Everything else is there to help celebrate the vows and the signing of that paper - so what better way to do that then with activities that have meaning to you rather then activities you dread?
Found at Dream Budget Weddings
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Decor: Balloons & Balloon Ceilings
The venue that we are leaning towards is going to be inexpensive and somewhat of a sentimental value, as it is in the very small home town of my fiance. Unfortunately, it is going to take some very clever decorating to make it look good. It is a curling rink, built into a quonset type structure. It has a concrete floor, but it is not finished inside so all you see is the tin of the structure. I have found somewhere to buy polyvinyl plastic rolls large enough to cover the walls, giving us 10 feet until the "ceiling". But I wasn't sure how to hide the tin roof, and still make it look good, until my mom thought of balloons. Here are some pictures of balloon ceilings I found from Google Image Search...
The next pixctures are other various ballon decor that I thought was cute. The first picture is of a balloon column where they used a balloon and set each balloon at a different level to fill the column, topping it with a large mylar star. In the second picture, they filled the balloons on the floor with helium and used balloon cups and sticks to have them look as though they are dancing along the floor.
I love the long streamers. They make it look so whimsical. I especially love the streamers in the next set of pictures. I love how they hung stars or moons on the streamers. Some look to be just cut outs, and some are actually small mylar balloons for a 3D look.
The first picture is a huge balloon drop, imagine that on the dance floor at the last dance of the night... The second picture shows the large 3 (or more) foot wide balloons. I thought they were intersting. Picture 3 is an arch, and Picture 4 is a balloon centerpiece (shown from top view).
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Planning: 7 Mistakes to Avoid
Avoiding these 7 simples things will keep a bride from turning into a bridezilla!
1) Procrastinating
Don’t put it off…do it now. If you keep pushing everything back you WILL run out of time. Procrastinating will add even more stress to this already stressful time.
2) Trying to do everything yourself
Don’t feel like you can’t ask family and friends to help during this stressful time. Chances are, they will be more than thrilled to help. You can use help with invitations, making vendor calls, planning the rehearsal dinner and a bunch of other things.
3) Booking the wrong vendor
Be sure to do research before you book a vendor. Ask for referrals from past brides, family and friends to get you on the right path. Once you have those referrals, as the vendor for reviews from past clients.
4) Inviting too many people
Don’t invite more people that you can afford. Be sure to keep an accurate count of the guest list and talk to parents and in-laws about their guest list.. If necessary, share the need to reduce the guest list. Do this BEFORE the invitations are mailed.
5) Expecting everything to go perfectly
…not that it won’t go perfectly, but be prepared for slight deviations in the plan. This will reduce the stress the day of the wedding.
6) Hiring the wrong photographer
Wedding pictures are lifetime memories that will be shared for generations. You should select the photographer that best fits you needs and style to ensure your memories will be best captured and shared with others.
7) Going overboard
Don’t feel like you have to do everything that was done at another wedding. Remember that this is YOUR wedding and it should be a reflection of the bride and the groom.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Decor: Simple Centerpieces
I thought these were stupidly cute. As you see they can be decorated in anyway and can be filled with anything. I see that they put a plastic bag liner inside ones that are to be used as fresh flower vases. They come in 2 sizes, short: 5"x5"x6" and tall: 5"x5"x10". I imagine they would be fairly easy to make yourself.
The last picture is of their bud vase collection, it comes with the tiny "test tube" vase. Again, I think it would be easy to make.
The last picture is of their bud vase collection, it comes with the tiny "test tube" vase. Again, I think it would be easy to make.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Stuff I Like: Veils
I had figured I wasn't going to wear a veil, but I really have my heart set on a short dress, or something a little more fun and flirty than bridal and traditional. My MIL to be is not too impressed with this she thinks the bride HAS to be formal and traditional. So my mom had the idea to compromise with her in an unusual way. Wear my short fun dress, but wear a veil to have more of a traditional bridal look. Sounds alright to me, the veil can come off at anytime, or I can at least dance the night away with it on, unlike some of those mattress skirts on the wedding dresses that my MIL likes. Yes Mattress Skirts. You know the ones that are all poufy and bunched up and looks like you took the springs out of your mattress and are now wearing it around as a skirt. (No offense to anyone who's style that is, I just look at them and think I feel like a mattress.)
So anyway... I did some searching and I did come up with some really cute veils that I don't mind.
I love the scattered crystals on these ones. I prefer the look of the 2 layers, but the single layer would be lighter and more wispy.
The shimmer veil is really gorgeous. The website said it's difficult to see indoors, but it looks fantastic when the light catches it. Very subtle, and then Bam!
The ribbon and cord edged ones are simple and cute/ I think it would look awesome if you could get ones where the ribbon is different colored. Like Blue or something.
But anyway, there's my finds of the day. Hope it gives you some ideas.
So anyway... I did some searching and I did come up with some really cute veils that I don't mind.
I love the scattered crystals on these ones. I prefer the look of the 2 layers, but the single layer would be lighter and more wispy.
Planning: Weather and your Wedding
I found a helpful service from Weather.com that allows you to register your wedding location and date in order to receive weather details on it. It will give you average weather for your wedding, until you get within a closer deadline, at which point it gives you a weather forecast for the 10 days before your wedding. You are also able to enter wedding events (ie. bachlorette, engagement party, wedding shower, etc.) and receive the details on those as well. Head to Weather.com and chose the "Wedding Planner" under the "Plan Ahead" tab to start your personalized wedding weather forecaster.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Color: Red Ideas
As you can tell, red is s hugely popular color. I even had to narrow down which red pictures I posted in here to keep the number down. There are some gorgeous ideas in here that would look great in any color.
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