Grr! Stress!!
I have been terribly stressed out lately regarding the wedding. I'm outnumbered and under the worst scrutiny of my life. My mother has no concerns, my mother in law to be has every concern with everything I have to say about the wedding, and Dan has no input, just "whatever you want Dear".
I wanted an outdoor wedding on the golf course, but you aren't supposed to put chairs on the golf course... well, some 190 year old aunts that no one knows and I don't know why they're on the guest list can't stand that long... Okay, fine! No golf course, even though that's what I really really wanted, we'll go outdoor somewhere else... well, we can't go outdoors because some people have outdoor allergies (probably the 240 year old aunts that no one knows again).
Early fall wedding - so far no objections... the exact day? Well you know that's so and so and the other so and so's birthdays that day right??? No I didn't know. Nor do I really care. I guess everyone will be together for their birthdays for once.
Wedding dresses!! Oh Lord please no... don't make me do it...
You don't really like that style of dress do you? How do you really know you'll like that style? Not that all the dresses you've flagged are all along the same idea... Not that all the dresses in your closet are that same type of styles... You can wear my dress, not your mother's, which you weren't going to wear anyway, that your mother didn't bother to ask because she just knew you'd want your own dress from this era, in this day and ages styles, No... you can wear mine from 1970 something that some aunt made for me, that is not that badly yellowed, that was made for the time we got married, and made especially to my size, which is not nor would ever be the same size you need, but it can be taken in a bit for the sizing... and the yellowing, well we'll have it dry cleaned and maybe it'll look more ivory than yellow after that...
Oh!! Now I've changed my mind... my sister was married in the early 90's... and you've never met her, nor have you ever seen her dress, but I bet she still has it, we could ask her... she's closer to your size, it won't have to be taken in as much... (Note: I have met her now, just a couple weekends ago, and I still don't want to wear her dress)
Wedding dresses have to be formal... the bride has to be formal... yes, even at an informal wedding... are you definitely going to wear white? No? Yes, some brides don't look good in white, they look much better in an ivory or off white so they don't look so pale... What do you mean maybe blue, orange, or black... a bride can't wear those colors... How will anyone know you're the bride??...
No I guess being escorted down the aisle by your father, being handed to the groom, and saying "I Do" won't give it away... or the fact that you won't wear the same color as your bridesmaids... or have the same bouquet... or that they'll be up at the front before you... or that the music changes... you must just be one very late bridesmaid that is slightly confused about who is getting married today...
Short dresses? What do you mean a short dress?? Just below the knee??? Yes, that would look good for the bridesmaids, be good for the time of the year... What do you mean you are thinking about wearing a short dress?... You can't wear a short dress... the bride must be formal dressed.
Oh Oh Oh!!! Wedding Colors... what colors do you want?? Maybe a nice blue and pink... Or white and black... Or let's pull out all the stops and go with blue and silver!!
..... What was that again? .....
..... Orange and blue? .....
..... Oh that will look horrible, why don't you pick something else? Something a little more wedding like.....
I never ever ever thought I'd get so much grief for trying to be me and pick the wedding that we want. Every detail that I pick is just not good enough, or there is some reason why it isn't proper or just shouldn't be done. And for every detail I have that is rejected, I get 2 other "ideas" that I just HAVE to do. Like for instance:
1 - Ask his cousin to sing at the wedding... well, I want a short and sweet wedding, readings and toasts can be done at a later time, so no one is standing too long on the golf course, yes, where you can't put chairs... There is no time for anyone to sing, nor do either of us want anyone to sing... and it's like strangling a cat in a full bathtub of ice water every time we hear her sing any other time, and so neither us of want her to sing at the wedding, but apparently, we HAVE to.
2 - Dance our first dance to the song that his mother and father danced to at their wedding. Because I guess we can't pick out a decent song that would mean anything more to us than "Bridge Over Troubled Water", and just because it was their song.
I have realized that no one has told me this shocking news... but my parents have apparently died and no one told me this... or they have disappeared off the side of the planet and are no longer having any importance in our wedding. I first realized this when I was told that I am to go shopping for my wedding dress with my mother in law to be, whether I like it or not. The exact words were "whether I want to or not, she doesn't care, that's the way it'll be". I realized at that moment that my mother, who gave birth to only but one baby girl, had died as far as my mother in laws wedding planning ideas go.
But I realize that she only had 2 boys, no little girls, and his brother has self proclaimed that he will never marry, so thus far I am her only hope at a daughter, but she seems to be ignorant. whether purposefully or not, to the fact that I have my own mother, my own family, and my own ideas and wishes.
And I thought Dan would be my biggest fight.
My Mood: Depressed and Frustrated
